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License to Parent

Dear ill-informed procreator
RE: License to parent

Any idiot can have children; the question is whether idiots should be allowed to have children in the first place. I am all for child-making if the parents are sturdy, smart and stable. My issue is with those that thoughtlessly spread it and populate the world, regardless of whether they’re able to uphold an environment and lifestyle fit for raising a child. It is your right to have a child right?

Just because you have the ability to make a child, doesn’t mean that you have the ability to be a parent! If I had it my way, everyone would have to be issued a parenting license before being allowed to actually be parents. They’d have to go for psychiatric evaluation, IQ testing, and their homes and job stability would have to be scrutinized carefully before they are deemed fit to be parents. Even though adoptive parents are usually financially secure and mature when they decide to adopt a child, they have to cut through loads of red tape first. It doesn’t make sense then, that we put adoptive parents through so much scrutiny, when there are stupid people everywhere popping them like Pringles non-stop! Just think how much nicer the world could be if procreators were given some restrictions? All kids would be raised in a more favorable environment and they’d be more inclined to grow to be well-adjusted adults, which in itself contributes to the betterment of the world.

I am sure it’s quite well-known that poor people have too many babies. This is not confined to Africa, it’s a world-wide phenomenon and it is quite baffling. Why do poor people tend to have so many children? Some would be quick to answer that it’s not their choice. Let’s pin it down on cultural influences or social standing. Let’s blame it on history and politics. Let’s blame it on abusive men in a world where women’s rights essentially take precedence over men’s rights, and where contraceptives are freely available. Let’s find every excuse possible to self-justify the rubbish we believe in just so we can have it our way. Let the voiceless child get born into your world condensed with ignorance, indolence and decadence. Turn him into you. Convince him that having a hard-knock life is just the way it is and it has nothing to do with the repugnant choices you’ve made for him. Blame the world for your problems, that way you always have an excuse handy when your child asks you why the world is so full of anguish. Lie to him. Contort his mind. Lead him to believe that the working class owes him something. What are you doing with the child care grants your government is giving you? Why are you pregnant again for the eighth time? Is it not enough that you’ve destroyed 7 lives? Let your children become criminals and hustlers, make the older kids mother the younger ones, send them off on the street like unloved strays and allow them the indignity of begging for food and money. Watch their lives fall apart while you sit with your thumb up your butt and the temerity to say it’s your right to have a child! If I could, I’d pull your eggs right out of your uterus and send them smoldering to hell!

To the men out there that act like it’s their life purpose to fertilize the world, what do you think you have a human brain for? It’s meant to be used to make intelligent, informed decisions and your hormones should never override your common sense! It’s one of the things that differentiate us from animals. The world is a sad enough place without you populating it with mini versions of yourself. Quit behaving like a frisky humpallot mutt and keep your seeds to your frikkin self!

Signed
Overworked Maternity Nurse. 🙂

6,887,800,000 humans and counting!