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Slippy Slide Baby Ride!

You ladies making babies love caesarian sections because it means your vaginkles wouldn’t have to stretch the size of a watermelon and although I know it seems convenient, it really isn’t. Elective c-sections are the pits for nurses who have to unnecessarily put up with 3-4 days of you whining about the pain, acting like you’re suffering with a debilitating disease rather than celebrating a commemorative moment of joy. Our patients who volunteer to undergo natural childbirth are up and about almost immediately after birth and they leave the hospital the next day, fully capable of taking care of themselves and happy. FYI, your body is designed for childbirth such that your vagina regains elasticity after the child is born.


On a side note: it is worthy noting that there are women who have had so many children that their vaginas have reached their final stretch and no matter what you put in there, squeeze as much as you’d like, it’s just gonna fall right out. Yup, I’ve seen many a uterus fall right out. On the other hand, birth by gravity could be fun for baby! A single sneeze would give baby a slippy slide ride right into your midwives arms. Weeeee! Let’s do it again, shall we?