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Stenchtastic Miss Sloth

So it's day 72 and I am contemplating pumping one of my patients with a high dose of epinephrine. Enough adrenaline to have her running away as fast as possible to a galaxy far far away. Miss Sloth is only there for some basic tests querying diabetes. She is completely coherent and physically able but she refuses to wake up off her bed to use the toilet, choosing instead to defecate in her bed. The pungent stench travels across the ward. Everyone recoils in unity. I put on a mask, gloves and an apron and valiantly head toward the smell while everyone runs away from it. A sacrificial act of heroism for the greater good of the world, I smother her with a pillow until she stops breathing..

Okay so I didn't smother her with a pillow. Instead I held my breath, asked her to get off the bed and changed the linen. "Miss Sloth, please go and take a shower and PLEASE start using the toilet or at least call for a bedpan!" I said as politely as I could muster. To my horror she turns around and bends over, thrusting a butt full of faeces at me, swinging it around in the air like she just don't care! – (like a sick and twisted hip hop music vid). I gasp and then I wince feeling like I swallowed a whole lot of something you really shouldn't swallow! What the crap is going on here? Was she just being arrogant? She orders me to wipe her butt and leave her alone. At this point I am very seriously reconsidering smothering her. I refuse to wipe her butt and demand that she take a freaking shower.

I leave the room to get her shower kit and when I return I find her back in bed, sleeping like a powdered baby, except she smells nothing like baby powder and the flies have become her only friends. It bothers me. It bothers me greatly. It bothers me gargantuanly. The flies are having a stench party on her body and she is not bothered by it in the least bit! I am extremely nauseated at this point and I practically run as fast as possible outside and breathe in deeply wanting to scream out in terror. The expression on my face is very similar to the expression on your face right now and I am sorry that I ruined lunch and supper and probably the next 6 meals for you. You know what's the cherry on top? When I go back to the ward, they are serving lunch and Miss Sloth is busy gobbling fists full of food as fast she can with her unwashed hands. Shoot me.

  • ShadySnaps

    Wow! You have went through some seriously crazy stuff. It is absolutely terrifying that someone can be so unbelievably disgusting, stupid, lazy and arrogant. These are the adults of today! The elders who are supposed to pass down wisdom to future generations who are meant to one day run this planet!  Imagine what would happen to our world if it were left up to people like Miss Sloth. Is it lack of education? Lack of decency? Lack of common sense? I have to go throw up.

  • Neaso

    Damn… I've been spendin a lot of time on Arkham Island… Me thinks she'd fit in well there…

  • Milly Naidoo

    Doesnt  the story continue with the relatives making a huge seen becos their relative is not being cared 4?? Then the Sister in Charge has 2 intervine n appologize,n the patient just grins in the background.Next Thursdays headlines in the Newspaper…

    • Arkadia

      I ended up having to clean her up after lunch…I couldn’t eat my lunch after that…but yeah, that’s usually the case! People think it’s our job to do all the things they are lazy to do. I would gladly help without a fuss if she was really unable to help herself. But patients like these take advantage of the fact that all they have to do is write a complaint, and they have us under their thumb.