Oh wow! I actually handed in my resignation with a 1 month notice. 17th January is officially my last day as a nurse! It feels surreal! After doing the same thing for so long it is going to take some time to adjust to the change but even with all the mixed feelings I am having, I am sure that this is the right move.
I went to the manager’s office like I was on auto-pilot; it felt like my legs were taking me there quickly before I could change my mind. Before I knew it, I was sitting in the office face to face with the Matron wondering how I got there!
“Good morning, I came to give in my resignation.” said a familiar voice that spoke without my permission.
The manager looked at me for a minute, taking my words in, with a look of surprise and then disappointment on her face. “I thought you were a keeper and there is a new nursing course around the corner waiting for you.” she said. I took in the words slowly, feeling my fear rush in, and for that moment I felt a tinge of doubt. Should I change my mind and take this course? Maybe I should continue my studies in nursing? Nursing is after all one of the most stable jobs in the world with many perks.
I mean, everybody loves nurses (well almost everybody). Banks love them, credit card companies love them, and salesmen especially love nurses. You can get credit approval, loans and vehicle finance almost instantaneously if you’re a nurse. They know it’s a long-term career with a very stable income and there are always jobs available in nursing. Plus they know that nurses love to spend! Something about being an independent, professional woman makes you spend impulsively. I would be even more independent and considered an even more respected professional if I took this course which the Matron was cleverly using as leverage to make me retract my resignation.
I tried to retreat, but some force inside me put me on mute so I smiled stupidly and waited for her to speak further. She looked at me for a long while before she decided to read the letter. Then she wished me luck and said that I would be missed. Doubt crept over me again as she said that. It felt like I was leaving a family behind. I had gotten fond of many people at the hospital and it felt like a loss to let them go. I thanked the Matron for her time and I walked out of the office like a robot. I was in such shock that I somehow ended up at home without remembering myself driving there. Once reality struck, I let out a screech of excitement and told everyone about it. I am so glad to have so many supportive people around me, or I would never have worked up enough courage to let it go! I am all kinds of nervous and worried that if I fail at my new web design business, I am going to become a drunk hobo on the streets begging for coins. But when I am level-headed, I can see myself doing really well in this new career, with my awesome and incredibly talented partner, Jash, being my backbone, while I adjust to the changes. The best part is I LOVE the work! It feels rewarding and fun and I am making money doing it.
If you are forcing yourself to be passionate about your job, then you really should start looking into alternative careers. I squeezed out all the strength I could muster to remain interested in nursing and eventually all the passion potion ran dry and it felt like my soul was dying. After I put my fears to rest and marched forth, steady focused on my dream, my soul revived itself and great new things are coming into play automatically! It’s like the "universe" is waiting to give you all the things you want from life, pending action on your behalf. If you don’t open the door, don’t expect good things to come in.
*Cuts the red ribbon for the opening of our new business: EccentricHusky!* YAY! (Website coming soon)
Heartfelt THANK YOU’s go to:
My mom & Jash’s mom (for your wisdom, tolerance and unconditional love); my sisters: Shady (for leading the way, you’re the bravest person I know!), Kia & Niki (for your enthusiasm and love), Dhiya (you have been super inspiring and encouraging!), Vana (for always pushing me forth), MJ (for being the independent woman that you are ); my bro (you’d call me mushy if I said anything nice…so…you’re an idiot and I love you); my nurse friends who I can’t mention by name here; and most especially JASH! (Couldn’t be here without you babe! You’re my rock!). All of you are made of awesomeness beyond measurable!!