Naked with Nurses

Someone asked me what nurses think about when their patients undress. For the most part, we’re thinking, “damnit, when’s my coffee break?” We never really look for anything on your body except abnormalities, scars, bruises etc. – this is required for our notes. Basically, if you look like the picture in the anatomy and physiology book, then there is nothing to see and we eagerly move along. Female nurses have an easier time dealing with female patients than they do with males. In fact I felt anxiety when I was assigned to the male ward in the hospital I worked for. They called it the snake park. It was difficult to work there as a new nurse. I didn’t want to deal with that. It was when I had to put on a condom catheter for a patient that I realized that it’s twice as uncomfortable for the patient as it is for the nurse. I didn’t want to be there but at least I was allowed to keep my clothes on! The patient swatted my hand away as I was about to put the catheter on for him. I left him alone until I could find a male nurse to help him. It’s unfortunate that nursing is female dominated and it’s not always possible to find a male nurse. I was actually grateful that he refused to let me help him. It’s acceptable for the patient to refuse a procedure but it is unacceptable for the nurse to refuse to perform her duties unless she has a really good reason to refuse.

As time passed I felt less and less awkward about it. Though I much preferred working in a female-only ward.

Then there are the freakishly obese, absurdly skinny and deformed people – I admit to gasping inwardly at the sight of some of these bodies. Especially those who’ve lost limbs to gangrene and other diseases. It’s shocking to see what a disease can do. It’s however in our nature to quickly look the person in the eye, smile and go on to performing your duties.

To answer the question simply, for me, it was never about how sexy or unsexy a person is. I can’t speak for all nurses but I felt the need to rush through the procedures as quickly as possible and have the patient get dressed as quickly as possible. If you can pick, choose a nurse that’s of a gender you feel comfortable undressing in front of. If you don’t have a choice because there are no male nurses available (as is often the case), don’t let your anxiety prevent you from seeking the medical help you require. You most likely look just as normal as a clothed person to the nurse that probably saw hundreds of naked people before you and still has hundreds more to come after you. Also we are taught in nursing school to do our best to preserve the dignity of the patient. That includes, keeping the patient dressed or at least partially dressed most of the time. We are taught to cover the patient and expose only the necessary parts of the body for the procedure at hand. If you don’t feel it’s necessary to be completely naked, speak up instead of getting upset about it. The medical staff will respect your wishes and find a way to make you feel comfortable. If your never-nude policy prevents you from getting the treatment you need, you really need to figure out your priorities.

Seeing so many naked people has its side effects on nurses though. While people often say you can never see too many naked people, I have a feeling I am not the only nurse that would disagree on that sentiment. Nurses become desensitized to the sexiness of a naked body. I was walking on the beach, amused at the look of awe on my friends face as he stared at the half naked people on the beach. To me there was nothing hot about it. Basic anatomy intact – nothing special. Oh well, at least I am one of the few people who go to the beach just to be on the beach…FML…

Nursing: You can’t live with it, you can kill it!

Many people ask me if I miss nursing since I left. I usually give them the short answer: “Miss it? HA!”, but when I really think of it more carefully the answer is a little more complex. Nursing changes you and once you’ve been there, I am not sure if it’s possible to break out of certain nursing habits. I still hate long, painted nails and prefer them clipped and clear. I can’t handle dangly earrings and high heels. I still wash my hands (frequently) up to my elbows, and if there are no paper towels, I dab my hands on my clothing, rather than on an overused cloth towel (admit it, you’ve done it when the paper towels ran out at the hospital). I scold people for not taking their pills on time, and I collect pens and tape like crazy. I have my own coffee mug, I like labeling things and I try to find a practical use for any waste (my bf hates when I collect empty boxes).

There are moments when I look at the time and think of what I would be doing at that specific time if I was still a nurse: making beds, handing out tea, breakfast, lunch, supper, doing observations, wound dressings, paper work, running about, suppressing anger for the nurse that’s not pulling her weight, bed baths, pleading with the clock to mark the end of my shift, answering telephones, wheeling patients around, tending to bells, bedpans and vomit, listening to the distressed patient tell me stories about how horrible the food is, taking commands from a hundred different supervisors, running past certain rooms to avoid that patient that can’t help but ask for something each and every time he sees you, getting high on caffeine and sugar, pleading with the clock to let me go home, messaging my bf to complain about my aching feet, nearly in tears because the manager was being mean, controlling visitors and suppressing anger when they would purposefully talk down about the nurses, within earshot, like I wasn’t there. (especially when those very people refuse to change the diapers of their loved one). At times I think of the patients I once cared for and wonder how they’re doing and sometimes I get the urge to check in on them.

busy-nurseSo, it’s safe to say, nursing hasn’t broken away from me completely but I will definitely not go back to it in a hurry.

There are just too many issues that aren’t getting resolved quickly enough and I just get frustrated because most of the problems could be resolved with a shot of common sense, but astoundingly, it seems to be in short supply in many SA hospitals. I watched nurses try to fight off the nonsensical ways of hospital management but very few come out winning and many of them just end up feeling more stressed out after their efforts get shot down.

So I had a choice to make, I either stay with it and be miserable, or I get out and do something different. Hats off to those that stay and are still happy, despite the many challenges! But to those burnt out nurses that are staying in it simply because you think you have no alternative, you have to create an alternative and it’s not impossible! I will be writing more often about how you can put the internet to use and create an income from it. So keep watching this space!

You(tube) Star!

Hey guys, how are you this Monday?

Oh me? Despite the flu, I am good! I was chatting to my friend Kuri who was feeling the Monday morning dread coming on, and it just struck me at that moment that I don’t feel Monday blues anymore! Woohoo! I don’t ever have to feel Monday blues ever again…EVER!

I can finally start to love and cuddle and adore my Mondays!

Okay, okay, I know that sounds boastful and cruel to those of you that are actually going to some place you don’t want to be at today, to listen to your whiny boss, to pull the weight of your lazy colleagues, to be overworked and underpaid, forever and ever til death do you part. 

Yeah I know, I am not making you feel any better but did you ever stop to think that it doesn’t have to be that way? How many of you have been brainwashed into thinking that there is only one formula for success in the whole WIDE world? Have you ever looked past Farmville into the thick of the World Wide Web? People, this is the door to everything! Well, almost everything. With it you can make anything happen (well, almost anything!)…okay…quite a lot of anything…the Egyptian government had to force a shutdown on the internet because it is a tool powerful enough to enable citizens to overthrow their rulers. It is the ultimate form of expression and there is room for everyone! 

I wish sometimes I could warp into a different dimension and discover something cool.

Hmmm, what if I could at least visualize myself doing that? Like so…

Want to know how we did that? Simple. Jash wanted to learn how to do special effects so he Googled it and found a ton of free tutorials. Yes! FREE high quality, in-depth tutorials on how to create special effects. He downloaded the trial version of Adobe After Effects and presto! 

Now watch how these guys make some money out of special effects on YouTube. 

The possibilities are endless and the results are deeply SATISFYING!

For those that don’t know, if you have a channel on YouTube and your show brings a lot of viewers, google (who owns YouTube) will pay you because you’re bringing in viewers. This is funded by businesses who advertise on YouTube. Kind of like television, except, you’re not watching TV, you’re making TV. It’s a chance to have fun, get famous and possibly make some frikkin big money! How cool is that?! 

Caution: Like any other creative pursuit, don’t go into this with the idea that you are going to be an overnight millionaire (though you never know with the internet). What you should be focusing on is having fun! Lots of fun! Enjoy every moment, feel your way around. Does it make you feel happy inside? Do you feel your passion rising and your interest in it deepening naturally? Do your friends enjoy it? If you’re making one person happy with what you’re doing, you’re succeeding. Think of it only as a hobby that you’re obsessed with for now. Nobody ever really expects to make any money from hobbies but we all invest our time in it anyway. The good part about this particular hobby (and many other hobbies I will be blogging on) is that with enough time, you will make money out of it. Think of that as a plus, but not as the main goal. If you think of the money, your patience will wear thin and you will end up frustrated and creatively blocked. The object is solely to have fun.

I can hear you say:

“But I am terrible with computers! Special effects? Omg! Are you kidding?” 

No, you don’t have to use special effects to get views on YouTube. Of course to get your videos up, you should learn some basics, like how to record a video, how to do some light editing, and how to upload the video to YouTube. There are plenty of FREE resources out there, so you can learn how to do just about anything! 

If you really want to get your channel plenty of views, the best thing to do is network.. It matters hugely when it comes to stuff like this. American YouTubers seem to have the advantage of hosting social events like YouTube parties where they are able to meet each other physically, collaborate and produce shows together, but if you're not American this doesn't necessarily put you in a disadvantaged position. Word spreads around the internet fast and if you network enough with people online, you will get good numbers but don't just go out there spamming people, and posting your link at every site or forum possible. Go out there and make real friends online. Speak to people, help them out of their spots, let your personality shine through. Be yourself, be helpful and have fun. You will find that people would more naturally keep coming back to your website/youtube channel simply because they feel a personal connection with you. There are millions of sites out there and there just isn't enough time for one person to visit them all. You have to give them a reason to keep coming back to you. Once you're in the circle, the word spreads from there and that's when you will start reaping the benefits of your hard work. But hey, the internet is unpredictable! You may just get lucky and go "viral" (spread quickly around the net) almost without any effort on your part. If so, hats off to you!

Are you going to or have you already done something cool on YouTube? Share the link with me and let me know how it's going! 🙂 

Click here to read about some successful YouTubers:

 

 

The Divine Force Within

I just received the following email:

Helloooo Nurse!
Could you tell us a bit about the creative process and share some tips on how to keep the creative juices flowing? I always find myself drifting out of the creative spell when I need it the most. Also, it would be great if you could cover an article on creative writing, such as novels.
Your biggest fan
Shadysnaps

Email/feedback makes me happy because to be honest, I don’t really get enough feedback on my blog, even though I love hearing from my readers. But it may have something to do with my blog being relatively new. The good news is that I’ve been getting more readers and it’s gaining popularity which reminds me of this little comic strip about bloggers…

famous-blogger

 

Yes, it’s true, with enough consistent, focused, action you can be a successful blogger. It’s a fact. Just like with any pursuit you put your mind to. With enough focus, you will, without doubt succeed. There will be hitches, there will be challenges but that’s where discipline comes in. You’ve got to stick with it if you want it really badly. Try new techniques if you have to but focus your entire being on what you want and you will get it. It takes time, patience, faith and persistence.

So how do you get creative juices flowing? Well there are some obvious things to begin with:

Take care of your body, a mind cannot concentrate while your body screams for help. I am not a great example right now, but I am getting there and the nicer I am to my body, the more clear-minded I become. No, you’re not allowed to say you don’t have time to exercise, if you have time for Facebook and random non-intellectual TV shows.

Take care of your mind, don’t litter your brain with unnecessary thoughts and most of all don’t participate in gossip and other hurtful or hateful activities. Be accepting of things you are powerless to change and be determined to change things about your life you know you can change. Read a book instead of watching soapies, listen to classical music once in a while, dabble in something creative, like painting, writing, drawing, scrapbooking. We’re not looking for a masterpiece, we’re just feeding the soul. Go out by yourself at least once a week. You can go anywhere you please, restaurants, libraries, movies, museums, parks. There is a whole person inside of you that you neglect to spend time with.

One thing I’ve found that helps, is something author Julia Cameron calls “The morning pages” in her book “The Artists Way”. What you do is write three full pages of thoughts down every morning when you wake up, then throw out the pages. The idea behind it, is to empty your mind of wasteful clutter (purposeless thoughts) and if done consistently every morning, you will literally begin to feel lighter and your mind will become more focused. I find that I release enough mind clutter in 3 pages, to allow me to be more focused for the rest of the day on achieving my goals. “The artist’s way” is a great read for blocked creativity (and YES! We are ALL creative beings!).

readset1

 

It's not Magic, it's mind power. Let your artist come through! Image Map

2 Great Reads to begin with!

More great advice came from the author of “Eat, Pray, Love”, Elizabeth Gilbert. One brilliant piece of advice she gives is that you should show up for your part. She (like many others) feels a “divine force” guiding her while she writes, almost as though someone else is writing for her. Julia Cameron also speaks of this force. Both of them see themselves as the medium for this “divine force” to express its genius. It takes the pressure off from the author and places it on this outside force which, in turn, allows you to be receptive to your own creativity.
Sometimes the “divine force” shows up, other times it doesn’t. But the trick is to show up for your part, sit at your computer and start writing, (or painting, or whatever it is you’re looking to do) and keep showing up for your part. Consistent focused action and you will succeed!

Watch this talk from Elizabeth Gilbert. It will be worth your time. 🙂

Lovyabubye! Comment below 🙂

Nursing Management FAIL (Part I)

matron1When I was working in maternity, I greeted a Matron while passing her by on my way to the laboratory. She greeted back and asked me if I was enjoying the post natal ward. I quickly replied “Yes, I’m happy.” Her smile faded as though I’d blurted a vulgar word and she replied, “You’re not supposed to be happy, you’re supposed to be working hard!” Now maybe she just likes messing with people’s heads but in general, the managers all seem to live by that principle.

Management FAIL number one: Practicing negative reinforcement.

They practice negative reinforcement techniques and do everything possible to make us feel like we‘re on opposing ends, working against each other. They never hear us out and if you did speak of your preferences and needs, they’d give you the exact opposite. Your opinion has little value to them, and they love walking around with their noses in the air and a sense of exaggerated self-importance.

Management FAIL number two: Stilting career progress.

Like any oppressive leader, management has some nonsensical rule against nurses studying. I’m not sure if it’s like this everywhere else but in South Africa, there have been nurses who have had to threaten to resign in order to be given permission to further their studies. They try to blame this on poor funding but they won’t allow you to study even if you pay for the course from your own pocket. My assumption is that they don’t want nurses to study because they want to save some money. You pay less for a staff nurse who is a jack of all trades than you would for an RN. When they are short staffed, it is not uncommon practice to see an EN or sometimes even an ENA running the ward!

Management FAIL number three: Instilling false hope.

I’ve seen many great nurses fall into this trap. Management hints at the possibility of a promotion to get certain nurses to take on more responsibility than they need to. These nurses lead the department meticulously. They organize the department, iron out its problems, get working systems in place, manage staff, and take the rap when things go wrong. They carry the department gracefully and with pride and passion, only to later find that the promotion is given to someone else. The glow that once represented their quest to be rewarded for their outstanding efforts dims. No explanation given, these poor nurses have to suck it in and accept it but everything they do from then on, is done with less drive and less passion then before and the nurse in her slowly dies from acute demotivation syndrome.

“Management FAIL count” to be continued. Comments welcome!

Photography Nurse

So you’re burnt out and bored with life and you need something fun to do in your spare time. There is nothing sexier than a photographer other than a guitarist, a painter and Jash in my opinion. Imagine yourself with your photography kit capturing those beautiful moments. People oohing and aahing over your spectacular ability to make photos look better than the real thing, imagine the excitement of seeing your photos shared online and passed around the world for millions to admire. Yes, you can do photography part time or full time and no you don’t need to go to photography school to do it either. The internet is your friend and it is literally the most powerful tool of all time!

I recently acquired a Nikon D3100 camera. It’s perfect for the beginner photographer. Jash and I have been having tons of fun with it and it is opening doors to many more online opportunities. We got the camera because it looked sexy and it had beautiful reviews. We came home, unwrapped it and fell in love with it but we didn’t know the first thing about how to use it! There are tons of settings and so many buttons! It came with two lenses and we quickly bought ourselves a tripod (the bare necessities for any wannabe photographer). So what to do next? Read the manual? Heck no! We just got out our google-fu and found tons of tutorials online on how to use the camera, and found various tips and tricks on how to capture the world magnificently! We gathered that there were three basic settings that you should mess around with, ISO, apeture and shutter speed (go on and google it). YouTube has video tutorials all over the place explaining everything you would need to know. It didn’t take long before our photos started looking brilliant and combined with the power of PhotoShop (a photo editing program, you can try Gimp for a free alternative), we were soon being confused for professional photographers!

 

This is a photo that Jash took of our house when the surrounding area flooded. Keep in mind that it was taken at midnight and only could be captured this way with a camera that’s capable of a slow shutter speed and a high ISO. Pretty much any DSLR can do this (like the Nikon D3100).

DSC_0216a

Photography is an art and because you usually would need to be outdoors more often, it is the perfect way for a nurse to feel inspired and refreshed after a hard day at work. The best part is that if you can learn the basics and if you practice enough you could very realistically make some money with your photos! Yes, there are people who will pay for a good photo! Check out sites like iStockPhoto, ShutterStock, Fotolia, BigStockPhoto etc. It’s perfect for the underpaid nurse! 😀 If you’re not looking to make money out of it (yeah right!), then scrap booking and cutesy photo frames will be a great past time to get your mind off that annoying patient that laid a complaint against you because you refused to accompany her to the smoking area, while she was being treated for respiratory failure.

Nurses don’t know when to quit.

createnurse1So I haven’t been able to post in a while, my sister just got married and weddings take up more time and money than you would ever expect. She made a beautiful bride and she is now honeymooning in Durban with her new hubby. Now that the wedding’s over, I finally have time to reflect about my resignation from nursing. How does it feel to be an ex-nurse? Joyous and scary all at once!

While you’re in nursing, the thought of leaving it is always scary. It’s all you know, it’s a part of your life and a part of who you are. You can’t picture yourself doing anything else. Despite all the problems that come with it, nursing is admittedly a very stable job (as long as you can avoid lawsuits), and as a nurse you earn a certain amount of public respect (even though nurses are the number 1 scapegoat for when anything goes wrong with a patient). One nurse said that she is proud of me for following my dreams because nurses don’t usually do such things. They get into nursing and they stay in it no matter what the cost is to them.

It may not seem like it, but every single day a nurse goes to work, she is in danger. You just never know what to expect out of your day. Many nurses get injured on duty or attacked by violent patients, and some are unfortunate enough to contract diseases from their patients. Every day you spend lifting heavy patients, working long hours on your feet, working the night shift, eating quickly prepared high-carb, sugary snacks, sleeping at strange hours, your body takes damage points. Nurses end up highly stressed out with back and knee problems in the end. Nurses often are the strongest member of their family because they are trained to suck in their own feelings and neglect their own needs in the interest of others (much like mothers). But there comes a point in every nurses life where they will feel like they’ve had enough! The problem is that many nurses reach that point but don’t know how to break away from nursing and that’s when burnout sets in.

You find yourself calling in sick often, being cold and unfriendly to staff and patients, you feel depressed and cry often, you go home and get agitated with your family, you stay home, locked away in your room, refusing to socialize…it affects every aspect of your life…but you still won’t quit nursing. What would you do other than nursing? How would you cope without that steady income? You’ve studied for too many years to throw it all away now. You did this all your life. It’s too daunting to start over now.

Yes, it’s a tough decision to make but I think I have just the thing to help inspire and motivate you to either change careers or ease your burnout. I believe that everyone is multi-talented. In fact talent has little to do with it. When I started learning about web design, I wasn’t very good with it, I just found it a soothing and relaxing hobby. It made me feel good after a long day at the hospital. It took my mind off of the bleakness of nursing. The more my interest in it grew, the faster I started to realize that this could actually be something I could make a career out of. The more I practiced, the more confident I became that I could actually leave nursing behind me with no regrets attached.

I just added a new section “Creativity” to my blog which covers anything and everything creative and inspirational. Check it out, who knows you just might find enough inspiration to help you either be a happier person (hence a better nurse), or to develop a new career altogether!

Creativity Saves Nurses!

“The creative is the place where no one else has ever been.
You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” — Alan Alda

I am sure you’ve all heard enough from Nurse Arkadia over there in the neighboring tab. I’d like to introduce you to Arkadia the designer. I am going to be blogging about various forms of creativity and hopefully you guys will find something inspiring enough to keep your burn out from pushing you over the edge. There is a lot of ways to get creative. You don’t have to have an inborn talent; you just have to have an interest in something creative. If there is a creative field you’d like me to cover in this section, don’t be afraid to comment or email me at Arkadialove@gmail.com.

A nurses good nature…

There I am feeling soft and mushy, taking care of this very ill and seemingly debilitated patient. As I clean her body, I feel guilty for taking my own health for granted and my heart goes out to her. I take extra special care to remember to comb her hair after I wash her body and put on body lotion, baby powder and perfume. Tugging, pulling and pushing all by myself, I change her diapers and her position in bed every 2-4 hours. I touch her hand and ask her how she is but there is no answer. I feel even more sad thinking that she won’t last long.

But then a “miracle” happens…

Her family request that the doctor release her for a weekend. He grants the pass out. The family arrive the next day to fetch her and she sits right up, walks to the bathroom, takes a hot shower and gets dressed like any healthy person would. I watched in disgust as she laughed and joked with her family. This woman had been crapping in diapers when she was fully capable of walking! I spent a lot of time taking care of her and feeling sorry for her and she had been faking it the whole time. Even worse, she could hear me when I spoke to her and asked her to get better. She was probably sniggering under the covers when I turned my back!

I felt really pissed off that she wasted my time and energy and used me like that! She didn’t even leave with a small thank you and she never returned to the hospital since. Now I know how a wet wipe feels!

There are people who try to act sicker than they are but they don’t all manage to pull it off that well. This morning I had a patient who tried to fake like she was shivering. I almost laughed on her face at her failed attempt to get some attention (glad for the facemask I was wearing that hid my smile). She just looked so hilarious. Her body was not trembling, her lips were not quivering, her teeth were not chattering. She just bobbed her head from side to side like an Indian dancer and made a strange sound that resembled the mooing of a cow. Acting FAIL!

Higher force takes nurses life!

Oh wow! I actually handed in my resignation with a 1 month notice. 17th January is officially my last day as a nurse! It feels surreal! After doing the same thing for so long it is going to take some time to adjust to the change but even with all the mixed feelings I am having, I am sure that this is the right move.

I went to the manager’s office like I was on auto-pilot; it felt like my legs were taking me there quickly before I could change my mind. Before I knew it, I was sitting in the office face to face with the Matron wondering how I got there!

“Good morning, I came to give in my resignation.” said a familiar voice that spoke without my permission.

The manager looked at me for a minute, taking my words in, with a look of surprise and then disappointment on her face. “I thought you were a keeper and there is a new nursing course around the corner waiting for you.” she said. I took in the words slowly, feeling my fear rush in, and for that moment I felt a tinge of doubt. Should I change my mind and take this course? Maybe I should continue my studies in nursing? Nursing is after all one of the most stable jobs in the world with many perks.

I mean, everybody loves nurses (well almost everybody). Banks love them, credit card companies love them, and salesmen especially love nurses. You can get credit approval, loans and vehicle finance almost instantaneously if you’re a nurse. They know it’s a long-term career with a very stable income and there are always jobs available in nursing. Plus they know that nurses love to spend! Something about being an independent, professional woman makes you spend impulsively. I would be even more independent and considered an even more respected professional if I took this course which the Matron was cleverly using as leverage to make me retract my resignation.

I tried to retreat, but some force inside me put me on mute so I smiled stupidly and waited for her to speak further. She looked at me for a long while before she decided to read the letter. Then she wished me luck and said that I would be missed. Doubt crept over me again as she said that. It felt like I was leaving a family behind. I had gotten fond of many people at the hospital and it felt like a loss to let them go. I thanked the Matron for her time and I walked out of the office like a robot. I was in such shock that I somehow ended up at home without remembering myself driving there. Once reality struck, I let out a screech of excitement and told everyone about it.  I am so glad to have so many supportive people around me, or I would never have worked up enough courage to let it go! I am all kinds of nervous and worried that if I fail at my new web design business, I am going to become a drunk hobo on the streets begging for coins. But when I am level-headed, I can see myself doing really well in this new career, with my awesome and incredibly talented partner, Jash, being my backbone, while I adjust to the changes. The best part is I LOVE the work! It feels rewarding and fun and I am making money doing it.

If you are forcing yourself to be passionate about your job, then you really should start looking into alternative careers. I squeezed out all the strength I could muster to remain interested in nursing and eventually all the passion potion ran dry and it felt like my soul was dying. After I put my fears to rest and marched forth, steady focused on my dream, my soul revived itself and great new things are coming into play automatically! It’s like the "universe" is waiting to give you all the things you want from life, pending action on your behalf. If you don’t open the door, don’t expect good things to come in. 

*Cuts the red ribbon for the opening of our new business: EccentricHusky!* YAY! (Website coming soon)

 

Heartfelt THANK YOU’s go to:
My mom & Jash’s mom (for your wisdom, tolerance and unconditional love); my sisters: Shady (for leading the way, you’re the bravest person I know!),   Kia & Niki (for your enthusiasm and love), Dhiya (you have been super inspiring and encouraging!), Vana (for always pushing me forth), MJ (for being the independent woman that you are ); my bro (you’d call me mushy if I said anything nice…so…you’re an idiot and I love you); my nurse friends who I can’t mention by name here; and most especially JASH! (Couldn’t be here without you babe! You’re my rock!). All of you are made of awesomeness beyond measurable!!